THE MARC VAN BULLETIN

Unnecessary MP3 of my sermon this weekend

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:11:54 GMT

     Preached "The Holiness of Vulnerability" again in Mississippi this weekend. It's basically just a slightly different delivery of the exact same sermon I posted here a few months ago. There's a few more ad libs this go around, but I also slipped up a few times, too. Got great feedback from the folks there, and they really seemed to enthusiastically like it. Pastor there seemed really impressed, too. Very kind compliments from the seminary representative as well.

     If you're morbidly interested, here's the audio.

     Take care,
     Marc

      "The Holiness of Vulnerability"
     Matthew 27: 45-46
     By Marc van Bulck

     First Presbyterian Church
     Cleveland, Mississippi
     Sunday, November 8, 2009

     http://tinyurl.com/yajv3xk

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:50:18 GMT

     I need to write about this for just a moment. I can't not. I'll keep my remarks brief.

     Andrew Lloyd Weber, composer of Phantom of the Opera, Cats, and Jesus Christ Superstar has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Anyone who knows me knows that I've had a love / hate relationship with dear Andrew. I fell in love with the theater at eleven years old in New York City to Phantom of the Opera. Jesus Christ Superstar knocked the wind out of me when I first saw it at seventeen years old and profoundly shook the way I thought about Christ.
     I thought it was beautiful. I still do.
     I taught children during my summers home from college in Sumter, SC in my very first job with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I'm probably the only Emerson graduate or even Emerson student ever that has and still does love Cats. And I, like the Frankenstein monster, turned against my creator when he decided to write a sequel to the music that I fell in love to. I still that's an awful idea.

     My thoughts and prayers are with Andrew. I don't care what anybody says.

     -Marc

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:34:04 GMT

     THE SCENE:

     MARC, SARAH, and CLAUDIA are driving to downtown DECATUR to get lunch. Marc looks out the window and sees a woman walking a yorkshire terrier.

     Marc spazzes out in front of the car window and yells really loudly.

     MARC: Aaaahhhh!!! Look!!!!

     Everyone else jumps.

     MARC: A yorkshire terrier!

     CLAUDIA: That was so loud!

     MARC: I love yorkshire terriers! We used to have one.

     SARAH: Aw.

     MARC: Yeah. He's dead now.

     SARAH: Aw! That's sad.

     CLAUDIA: (Under her breath) You're pathetic either way.

     MARC bursts out laughing.

     I keep very strange company.

     SCENE.

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:06:54 GMT

     Sermon from this morning at CTS chapel.

    "Feed My Sheep"
     John 21: 1-17
     By Marc van Bulck

     Columbia Theological Seminary
     Decatur, GA
     October 20, 2009

     http://tinyurl.com/yg86rq4

MP3 Download of my sermon this afternoon...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:31:46 GMT

     Not the most polished sermon I've ever done. This one is a little redundant, and I think the main point that comes at the end could have been expanded. I would have liked to write one more draft of this, but it was for class, and I ran out of time. I'm also working on yet another sermon for chapel tomorrow morning. I'll post that one, too, as soon as it's up.

      "What's In Your Heart?"
     1 Samuel 16: 1-13
     By Marc van Bulck

     Columbia Theological Seminary
     Decatur, GA
     October 19, 2009

   http://tinyurl.com/ykdzufn

"There are worse things than a shattered chandalier..."

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 05:57:11 GMT

http://www.loveneverdies.com/?video=lnd-launch#video

This was for class. It was posted earlier but was deleted.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:13:18 GMT

“1 SAMUEL 17: 33-37”
By Marc van Bulck

     I remember I had a friend who once said, “sheep don’t care.” Maybe he’s right. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that sheep can panic. Any animal can panic when it feels like its life is in danger. It’s survival. It’s instinct. Everybody knows what fear feels like, and sheep are very difficult to control when they’re scared. Especially when you’re someone my size.
     The mountain cat moved slowly at first. Quietly. Calculating. I can remember looking into the eyes of the mountain cat and knowing. Just knowing.
     We both did. We moved slowly at first. Circling each other. Almost serene. I could taste the sweat of my own fear, but the mountain cat did not stop. I did not stop.

“Sheep don’t care.”

      And then she sprang.
     The world started moving really fast. It’s hard to remember what happened. Sheep wailing. Adrenaline. Panic.
     The momma cat sunk its teeth the neck of one of the flock, and it’s cry was terrible. In an instant, I was on the momma cat’s snout. I don’t remember how or why or even where the movement came from, but in that moment, everything mattered.
     My fingers peeled back the lips of the momma cat. I remember the first glimpse of the blood on her teeth.
     I cannot kill a mountain cat.
     And then I looked into her eyes. Powerlessness. The same powerlessness I felt looking into the of seven older brothers. The powerlessness of wondering what the favor of a father tasted like.
     “Only real men join the army.”
     Emptiness. Helplessness. What is the worth of a man?
     I looked into the eyes of this mountain cat, and anger and fire filled my body like the heart of the sun.
     “Never again,” I whispered.
     And I tore its jaws apart.
     This must be what God feels like.
     The frightened sheep managed to wriggle free and run, panicked, back to the others. And that was the first time I remember seeing a mountain cat look afraid.
     But it was too late. It was too late for mercy. Too late for grace. I would never be called a boy again. I would never feel fear or helplessness ever again, and this time the monster would know what fear tasted like. Forevermore, the monster would know what fear tasted like.
     That was the first time I remember feeling powerful.
     And I would never let that go.

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:32:48 GMT

     I wrote a monologue today for Anna's class about David (Yes, King David. Yes, David and Goliath David) about the moment when David goes to the Dark Side.

     Anakin, noooo!!!

     I'm a huge nerd.

Podcast of my sermon this morning.

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 03:09:07 GMT

     Just in case anyone is interested or just miserably bored...

      "The Holiness of Vulnerability"
     Matthew 27: 45-46
     By Marc van Bulck

     Trinity Presbyterian Church
     Surfside Beach, SC
     Sunday, September 20, 2009

     http://tinyurl.com/nyolfb

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the stand-up comedy of Dr. Victor Von Doom!

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 19:53:05 GMT

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:05:14 GMT

     Andrew Lloyd Webber,

     You have not followed my instructions. I will give you one last chance. Should these commands be ignored, a disaster beyond your imagination will occur.

     I remain, sir, your obedient servant.

      -MVB

     http://www.loveneverdies.com/october8th/

Simply too badass for anyone's own good...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:38:42 GMT

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 05:30:37 GMT

     I think the title of the next seminary magic show needs to be Marc van Bulck's Disco-Monkey, Offensive, Sexy Vegas Magic Spectacular.

     Especially since it doesn't apply. I wish it did.

     -Marc

"A Heresy"

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:16:43 GMT

      By Marc van Bulck

     Jesus, Muhammad, and Buddha were sitting around in the living room while their children sat on the floor examining a gift wrapped present, trying to deduce what might be inside. One of the children finally decided to take a peak inside the box.
     "I see it!" the child exclaimed, "I know what's inside!"
     "What is it? What is it?"
     The child looked up from the box.
     "It's a long grey trunk! With two large tusks attached!"
     The other children started becoming excited.
     "Let me see!" another one said and took a peak from the other side of the box.
     "No, it's not," the other child said, "it's a long, gray tail. I can see it. I'm looking at it right now."
     "No, it's not!" the other child snapped back. But a third child was already taking a peak inside the box.
     "You're both wrong. It's a big gray head with two very large, floppy ears."
     "That is not what's inside!" the other two argued, "Look, I saw a grey trunk with two tusks, and that's what it is. I saw it with my own eyes. What I saw is completely different from what you saw, and they are not the same thing. A long trunk with two tusks is not compatible with a big head with floppy ears."
     "Are you calling me a liar?!" the other child asked, and he pushed the first child over.
     "Ow! Stop it!"
     And that child pushed back
     "Ow, quit pushing me!"
     "You pushed me first!"
     A fourth child had been sitting, watching the entire time.
     "I don't even think there's anything in there," that child said, "I think the box is empty. I don't think there is a present inside."
     "Um, if you took the time to look inside the box," one of the other children said indignantly, "you might have seen that there is!"
     The fourth child became quiet.
     "Maybe if you didn't push so hard, I would have had the chance..." he whispered.
     The children picked up the box and started fighting over it.
     "Give it back!" "It's mine!" "No, it's mine!" "Give it!"
     Jesus, Muhammad, and Buddha stood up.
     "Children!" they said, "what did we tell you about fighting over the present?"
     The children started to pout.
      "If you keep fighting over it," the grown-ups said, "none of you will be able to see what's inside."
      Muhammad turned to Jesus, "Mom says hi, by the way."
      "Yeah, she sends her regards," Buddha added.
      Jesus looked down and smiled.
      "Le-chayim," He said.

Nobody expected this...

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:58:55 GMT

"A Parable"

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 21:21:32 GMT

     By Marc van Bulck
     Inspired by and adapted from an anonymous parable.

     Jesus was sitting on a park bench when He was approached by a gentleman in a business suit who was not amused. He said, "Jesus, the pastor at our church was talking about Scripture and how Scripture is something that can be interpreted. That Scripture is something that could somehow have different meanings."
     Jesus listened and looked down at the ground.
     "I have spent my entire life going to church and being taught that this is what the Scripture says, and I don't want some preacher coming in here telling me it's any different! I don't want somebody telling me that it might mean something else. The Scripture says what it says, and that's the way God wanted it said. If we needed to interpret it or find out what it really meant, I think God would have given us those tools, don't you?"
     The gentleman pulled a photograph out of his pocket. Jesus turned and watched him.
     "This," the man said, "is a portrait of my wife. And this is exactly what she looks like. No wishy-washiness. No back-and-forth, well-maybe-it-could-have-been. This is exactly who she is."
     Jesus looked at the picture.
     "Who's Ronald Reagan?" Jesus asked.
     "Oh, sorry, this was taken back in the 80's, I think."
     "She wants to elect Ronald Reagan?" Jesus asked.
     "Well, no. I mean, she did. He was running for president at the time."
     "Does she still want to elect Ronald Reagan?"
     "No, Jesus!" the man barked back indignantly, "Those were the issues of the day. Ronald Reagan isn't really a topic right now. This just sort of tells you a little bit about what she's like."
     Jesus looked at the photograph some more and frowned.
     "These are the clothes she wears?"
     "No," the man said, "those were the kind of clothes we wore back then. We don't behave the same way today. You have to think about context, Jesus."
     "Oh," Jesus said.
     "Look," the man said, "the point is, this is a photograph of my wife, and it is precisely, exactly what she looks like."
     Jesus took the photograph in His hand and frowned a little bit.
     "She's rather small," He said.

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 05:07:28 GMT

This afternoon, an idea dawned on yours truly, and from that idea came the concept for a potentialy EPIC new 15-minute piece of mentalism (read: mind-reading). I am now suddenly very excited for this year's live magic show.

Very excited, indeed...

Ten days until my 15-month life as a chaplain comes to an end...

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:32:33 GMT

So, why am I so sad...?

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 23:53:36 GMT

     "These children are stuck-up irritating brats! I say, take the Solomon principle and take a rod to their glueteus maximus until their cerebral cortex has a brand new revelation!!!"

     -Preacher on Atlanta public access.

     (Buries head in hands and cries)

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:52:13 GMT

A MYSTERIOUS SUBPLOT...

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 05:16:03 GMT

     I was checking my mail today, and I opened my mailbox, and there was an anonymous package that simply read, "DELIVER TO MARCEL VAN BULCK BOX# 256" typed out. No name. No return address. No handwriting. I opened the package, and it was a book. An old...old...withered book...looked like from the 1950's at the latest. On the cover was an illustration of a man looking up to the clouds with the title, Why Am I Afraid to Love?

     No name. No return address. Completely anonymous.

     I looked around the building to see if anyone was around. Empty. The entire building was empty.

     My guess is this is probably some mischief. I can't imagine that it's some sort of dramatic gesture from someone on campus. But still...interesting...

     -Marc

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:25:43 GMT

     "What is truly awe inspiring is not that someone could walk on the surface of the water without sinking, but that He could calm their anxieties and cause them to walk were they feared to walk before...”

     -Douglas Hall

     I love that.

Updated with quotes!

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:11:49 GMT

I don’t often get very Presby-nerdy on the blog here, but I’m about to. Yesterday, I listened to a downloaded sermon MP3 on my iPod called “The Risk of Truth-Telling” by Walter Brueggemann. Walter Brueggemann is not an ordained minister (at least as far as I know). He is a member of the UCC (United Church of Christ) and a long-time advocate and practitioner of rhetorical criticism. For a long time he was on the faculty here at Columbia Theological Seminary (I had lunch with him once and told him my call story).

Anyway, this sermon was an Easter sermon from back in 2006 about the apostles and the formation of the early church shortly following the resurrection in the first chapter of Acts (I know…this kind of a seasonally displaced sermon - and also about three years too late - for me to be listening to in the later part of summer, but what can you do, eh?). Brueggemann is almost feverishly famous in the Presbyterian academic circles for his Old Testament scholarship, so it was really kind of weird and funky and cool to hear him wax poetic about New Testament stuff…something I don’t believe I’ve ever heard him speak on (I know, this is probably miserably boring for you to have to read, but this is the kind of stuff we get excited about at seminary. Or at least, I do).

     Nevertheless, his sermon, “The Risk of Truth-Telling,” was without doubt one of the best sermons I’ve heard in the last few years, and I’m often shrewdly critical of sermons and worship services. I don’t normally make noise when I listen to sermons in my car (because I mean…who does that?), but I verbally cheered numerous times hearing what he had to say. This was not your typical safe, feel-good, cookie-cutter “Christ has risen! He is risen indeed! Hallelujah!” kind of sermon than any give Pastor Joe or Jane might give on Easter Sunday to the folks in their Easter bonnet hats.

     "[The apostles] warned [Matthias]. They said, 'Do not treat Easter as a biological freak, and do not argue about it or explain it away. Do not debate if it is literal or phyiscal or spiritual. They reminded him that Easter is a public, political event that jars power arrangements and that puts people on notice that the future has now been opened in new directions."

     "Jesus is alive and powerful and is forming an alternative community that will defeat the powers of injustice and unrighteousness."

     "[The church continues to] celebrate God's will for life that will not be defeated."

     "Death cannot win...the church is surrounded by people who lie - who in their fear and their anxiety and their desire to control tell lies about God and about God's world. They say, assuming the power of death, that violent force will make us safe. It is a lie! They say, assuming the power of death that more stuff will make us happy. It is a lie! They say, assuming the power of death, that more clever techniques will make the church more faithful. It is a lie! They say, assuming the power of death, that more cosmetics will keep us young. It is a lie! They want us to gather around the still power of death in order to stay in control. And it is a lie! They lie, and we in the church are called to tell the truth about Easter that opens the future."

This sermon was dangerous. This was a sermon that cut right through the theological-academic bullshit debates about the nature of physical vs. figurative vs. spiritual resurrection and all the surface-level, feel-good, Hallmark theological platitudes one might expect from a white, Southern Presbyterian church on Easter Sunday.

This was something very real that went so much deeper into the political / theological significance of what Jesus’ existence means. It was a very socially subversive sermon, the likes of which most pastors at most churches wouldn’t have the balls to preach from a pulpit, especially when the church budget is sitting out there in the pews wearing their Sunday finest. But for the day when we as Presbyterians claim to truly celebrate the real deep meaning of the faith, I couldn’t think of anything more appropriate. Well, done, Walter.

Bravo.

What Marc learned today during his chaplains' meeting...

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 00:43:44 GMT

From Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

"WEIRD"

Noun

15th Century

1 : of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural : magical

2 : of strange or extraordinary character : odd, fantastic

synonyms weird, eerie, uncanny mean mysteriously strange or fantastic. weird may imply an unearthly or supernatural strangeness or it may stress queerness or oddness <weird creatures from another world>. eerie suggests an uneasy or fearful consciousness that mysterious and malign powers are at work. uncanny implies disquieting strangeness or mysteriousness

HELL. YES. I couldn't be prouder. :-)

-Marc

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 03:03:24 GMT

Well...it is what it is.